My uniform
Twice, I have worn my green uniform to and from work.
I felt surprisingly relaxed with it on, as if I have now gotten used to it, even in public. I’ve also noticed that most Swedes are too polite to stare, and perhaps they’re also used to often seeing the army outfits in Enköping. There are around 1000 militaries here.
The other day, however, I had just come out of the grocery shop when I noticed a man staring me straight in the eyes until I had passed him on the pavement. It felt like a hostile and challenging gaze, as his face was serious and eyes wide. Not Swedish by birth, his face met mine in an aggressive way.
I didn’t see the point in staring back at him. If he doesn’t like militaries, it’s his problem, and I wasn’t interested in challenging his look. With his intense gaze, he came across as a killer machine to me – or perhaps he saw me as one? I felt more like a pussycat, carrying my milk and cream for my pancakes.
Not because of this incident, but a few other experiences – I have decided to stop wearing my uniform out of office hours. There are a few reasons to this:
Bringing home my uniform is like bringing home my work. My working days feels longer the longer I wear the uniform, since the rules around it are so strict.
The truth is, I don’t identify with being a soldier. But I can take on the role, and several others if the situation requires it – at work for example. Since I don’t identify with being a soldier, I can wear the uniform and look at it with distance to who I am, also in my home.
So from this aspect, I find it OK to see my uniform inside my wardrobe along with my other jackets and shoes.
However, I don’t want to! Haha. And it really doesn’t fit my wardrobe. The boots gets muddy and the uniform smells of fire and it gets dirty like none of my other clothes. But most importantly, it's not comfortable. Although changing sizes several times, the crutch always rests on my thigh and the shoes are too wide. These clothes are clearly not made for a woman! Plus, again – seeing my uniform in my flat is like bringing home my work. And I wish to keep my home a neutral zone, where I can act and create without restrictions.
For these reasons, I have placed my day-to-day military clothes, along with my army gym clothes in the female dressing room at work. The big locker is next to the showers and sauna and a beautiful relaxing area with comfy chairs, plants and a glass table with magazines. This is where I prefer to start my working day as well as finish it.
Have a great weekend everyone!
