Psyops on the beach
From having shared a room with seven other women and men last week, I’ve currently got a hotel room with a patio to myself. I’ve flown down to Skåne, in southern Sweden, to attend a week long course in psychological operations.
Apart from studying from eight in the morning to eight at night – it feels like a holiday. The hotel is located right by the sea in a beautiful setting. I still have to wear my uniform tough, as psyops is a military course. We even raise the flag each morning during a short ceremony with music played out in the background. It must look odd.
Despite the speed of the course, I’m doing well after a couple of early nights. Plus, today we had the afternoon off and I’ve just come back from sunbathing at Skanör, where the picture is from. The beach has incredibly soft and white sand and there’s a lovely harbor with sailing boats too. I had no sunblock on for a couple of hours, so I now have a permanent white bikini on... I’ve even got the bow on my back. Typical.
Since I started my job in March, there’s been a lot of new information and skills to learn, and I am looking forward to a break to digest it all. Lately, I’ve felt very privileged and grateful for the top education and opportunity to learn and refine my skills – I’ve never experienced that in a job before.
However, I have also started to contemplate what the army will expect back and the risks that come with my job and a potential foreign position. It’s not always an easy thing to realize, especially when you’re in a formerly neutral country like Sweden.
Luckily it happens rarely, but sometimes I can experience a painful attack of remorse – like I’ve made a mistake. When the pain goes away by acceptance, there’s relief - not because the pain has faded, but since I've come closer to what I wish for and the realization that I can make it come true. There’s also comfort in a Chinese proverb that kicked off my psyops course this week. It may have sparked my thought above and is taken from Taoism. It reads:
“The journey is the reward”
