Military overdose
For some reason I don’t even want to write about the past week on mission. It’s too fresh. Right now I just want to get back into the life I know again. Getting back to work this Monday morning is actually hard. I am realizing a pattern here – I always feel like I’ve overdosed on the Military after a few days in the forest.
Don’t get me wrong: it’s been an incredibly fun week with lots of laughter, jokes and new learning’s. However, it’s been a steep learning curve for me, which makes me want to leave it all for a while. It’s also been a tough week physically as I’ve been carrying around 30 to 40 kg each day. It’s how much our full equipment weights – including clothes, helmet, weapon and backpack – and we’ve been training with most things on all days. Another 10kg and it’s nearly my own weight!
All military gear has been created for men, not women, for traditional reasons. So the equipment don’t really fit my body and instead of tightening the backpack around my waist for example, it’s been hanging off my hips, making two big bruises on my sore hipbones. After walking for five hours with a map and compass trying to find our new location on the last day, my feet were aching so badly I thought my bones underneath my feet was going to explode from the extra weight. On the up side - my arse has never been as tight as it is now. Rock hard.
On the last night of the mission, there was no tent to sleep in and no sleeping bags. To be told we won’t be sleeping in a tent after hiking around with heavy gear for a fourth day, provoked a 10-minutes remorse attack that I honestly didn’t have time for. I had to start finding a spot to sleep, preferably near a rock where I could build a fire and create a bed from pine tree branches. I guess it was a final test of some of the learnings from this week.
I didn’t even sleep for one second. My wood ran out at around 2am and from that point onwards I was looking for sticks and stuff to burn in the pitch-black night. It’s crazy what you do when you have no choice.
One evening we were driven to an ice-cold lake, so that we could have a wash. I screamed as I forced myself into the water and my feet were numb for 20mins afterwards. The guys went after me. Boy did they scream too. All dried up, we grilled hot dogs over an open fire and it was my first hot dog in years. It’s impossible to be a vegetarian on a Military mission. I’ve needed all energy available this week and the hot dogs were a treat I wanted to feel part of.
It’s surreal to be back in the ‘real’ world again and there is something sad about it too. I can’t put my finger on it now.
I am clean now. I can go to a toilet that flush and drink water from a tap, buy whatever food I like in the shop. There are no enemies to watch out for, no fire to guard and I have a warm beautiful home with lots of rooms and a brand new bed that makes me sleep like a princess. Life is comfortable again, but apart from that: Nothing has changed. It’s the life I know again. Hello.
