Pre Cold Response training
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For the first time since I joined the Army 11 months ago, I've come back from a training mission with a smile on my face. I had more fun than anything else, and yes I do find it somewhat surprising. However, the training mission didn’t start too well on Monday. Whilst driving one of the heavy loaded trucks reaching 4,5meter above ground, my AK5 attached to the ceiling in the vehicle suddenly came off its lock, and crashed onto my shoulder. I screamed out in pain.
The fall of a fully loaded AK5 from about 70cm could have knocked me out – had it hit my head. My second driver was grateful I managed to stay on the road and remain calm. I didn’t have the time or energy to care about my shoulder until five days later after the mission. However, by then I was aching.
Hopefully the X-rays will give me some resolution tomorrow.
After a painful start, our training mission got better. We reached our destination on Monday evening and spent the next four days building and dissembling our radio tower and testing the transmission signal on a local FM frequency. I had spent the week ahead applying for a licence to broadcast and it was granted on the day of arrival.
Ahead of the mission I felt restless due to reluctance to participate. It’s a challenge both physically and mentally to be in duty for several days with no personal time or freedom. Someone will decide what is to be worn and carried out at each hour in the day and night. You have to transform yourself into an accepting robot, since you have no right to question an order. Lack of sleep and arctic weather makes it tough physically – apart from the ache in hands and fingers that comes from carrying a metal weapon in the cold.
On the second day, my fingers were so swollen I could hardly button my jacket.
The anxiety before my mission is universal though. Having spoken to my colleagues during the past week, pre-mission hours make everyone negative, reluctant, or restless – no matter if you’re a civilian or military soldier. Most of the time, soldiers just don’t tend to talk to each other about it.
Having spoken about it and heard that everyone else also felt negative prior to our mission, I no longer feel the need to justify or change my emotions ahead of an exercise. It’s normal to feel unwilling or unenthusiastic about giving up your freedom for a few days, especially when it’s something you’re not at all used to. Regarding the emotionally blocked people I wrote about last week – I might as well have been talking about myself.
Next time, I will bring on the tension and accept my anxiety and the fact that I don't have to be a super human woman in order to work in the Army.
